Who is your tribe?

The journey continues, the chapters unfold. The second chapter in The Happy Course looks at how relationships contribute to happiness. Good relationships lead to healthier, happier lives. In essence, relationships matter to the hygge of your heart. So why is it then that this crucial facet of our lives is so often overlooked? Why do humans settle for less?

Relationships are broad. Automatically, I always think of my love relationships and assume that those with family, friends, colleagues and neighbours are less important. This is such a narrow minded approach but I do feel that many of us slip into a similar frame of mind. We put a lot more effort into the relationship with our partner than with anyone else.

One of the questions that the course asks is “who is your tribe?” and this is a question I found so difficult to answer. Apart from my husband, son and best friend I can’t think of anyone else that falls into my tribe. Distance plays a large role in this, it’s obviously easier to form a tribe with people you come into contact with regularly, I don’t believe that is is easy to find your tribe based on superficial interactions with people. To this end I have decided to make a concerted effort to build my tribe with family members and friends who live far away from me, to be more open minded in my judgements of new people that I meet and to give people the chance to get to know me.

No one can survive in isolation.

When examining your relationships with people, you should ask yourself three questions: Who do I feel I am? Who do I want to be? How do others see me?

I can’t answer any of these satisfactorily. I have defined myself by labels: wife, mother, friend.

Relationships take effort and time but are so worth the reward that I encourage everyone to pay special attention to them. Healthy relationships help you cope with upheaval, they promote health and they keep our memories sharp. Do you have someone who you can rely on in times of need? I can answer that with a vehement yes!

My hygge moments always come back to time spent with people I love and people who love me. Ask anyone what their favourite memories are and ninety percent of them will involve another person.

Find your person. Find your tribe. What could be easier than that?

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) – e.e.cummings

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